Eye don’t know if they’ll like it…
Hey,
So I am sitting here post-therapy session trying to think of something I should write as my first blog. A concern of mine today was my struggle with building deep lasting relationships. While I want to have a friend that I can share everything with and be really known by, I am very resistant to sharing and showing who I am; at least the parts that really matter.
Why? Well, the real me is like a letter written on a piece of paper and then turned face down on a table. If the paper is never turned over, it presents as clean, open, and able to be written into whatever the person that is writing likes.
However, if the paper is turned over, then what was already written is seen and open to judgment, to acceptance or rejection, to approval or disapproval.
Too often and too long, I have believed that the result of turning over the paper, of sharing the real me, would be rejection and disapproval which would ultimately mean that my life is worthless and unacceptable, let alone, capable of purpose and meaningful relationship.
The SonC… project, this website, all of it, is the turned over paper; an expression of the real me.
If I am being honest, I am still afraid of what will happen as it begins to be read. Will it make a difference? Will it represent Jesus right? Will it be rejected? Will it be misunderstood? Like, how many people will be turned off because there is a big eye on the original design?!…
Then I am reminded of a few things…
- I didn’t write the letter, Christ did, so even if it is rejected or disapproved, it is still fully true and fully love. I am blessed to be revealing his lovely words to you!
- Jesus makes what I may see, as a mess of letters and words and life, into a meaningful message.
- It’s not about me being seen, but about as many people as possible seeing Jesus with their heart, their deepest, most intimate self!
So, on that note, thank God for leading me to share, with you, the letter he is writing with my life and I pray that others are encouraged to see and share the letter he is writing with their lives…
With Heart’s Eyes Wide Open, (Ephesians 1:17-21 New International Version)
Dave